Which means I live with people who in theory are supposed to meet very real needs but sometimes are unable to.
I was reminded of this reality recently. First you need to know that I have a wonderful husband who loves me so well. I am indeed a blessed woman. But…
Because of the limitations of his humanity, he’s not always able to meet my needs or the needs of our children.
Sometimes he forgets.
Sometimes he misunderstands.
Sometimes he doesn’t know what to do.
Sometimes he’s too tired.
Sometimes he simply lacks the ability to carry out the good he wants to do.
So how do we live in a world where we are often disappointed by those who are supposed love and care for us? How do we live in a world where those who are supposed to govern, lead, teach and employ us let us down? When we find ourselves with some type of lack in our lives?
It’s so easy to become angry and bitter when people don’t do what they’re supposed to do. It’s easy to think that if we had another husband, or another job, or another landlord, or another pastor, or another president, that our needs would finally be met. Then the needs of our family will finally be satisfied. Then things would be good.
The fact is, every single human being will disappoint us in even the most basic ways. Even when they give their all, they will leave something lacking in us. And in many cases, they are actually doing the best they can. (You may not think so, but think about it. Are most people maliciously trying to hurt us?)
They are only human.
You are only human.
We weren’t created to fully satisfy anyone else’s needs.
Even if we know each other’s love language
Who is that person in your life that has disappointed you?
Your husband?
Your pastor?
Our president?
Your parents?
Your boss?
Your friend?
He or she was never created to fully satisfy your needs. Even if he/she spent 24/7 focused on just trying to meet your needs, there would still be MUCH lacking.
I’m learning to be content with unmet needs. I’m learning to be content with what my husband is able to give– even when it’s not enough. I know he’s giving me his best.
And I’m learning to be content with what I can give rather than having these unrelenting expectations of what I should be doing and giving.
I can only give what I can give.
I can only do what I can do.
Period.
End of story.
So what do we do with these unmet needs? Here’s what we shouldn’t do. Ignore the need. Excuse the need. Complain about the need. Become angry and bitter. Nag the person into meeting the need.
Instead, we go to our Heavenly Father. He knows our needs. In fact, he created us with these needs with the full intention of satisfying every need. Yes, he usually uses people, but HE IS THE SOURCE.
So if mom is too busy, too broken, too high or too whatever to love her children like she should… our Father can and will fill in the gaps.
If our president is too incompetent or selfish or inexperienced or too whatever to give this nation what it needs, we need not despair. Our God will provide.
This message is so simple, yet powerful.
What is your unmet need?
Jennifer Easterbrooks says
Thank you for sharing. This post really blessed me and it’s something I needed to hear right now. Thank you!
Alecia Baptiste says
Jennifer, I think we all need to hear this from time to time. It’s so easy to put unrealistic expectations on others and ourselves.
Carolyn Henderson - This Woman Writes says
Beautiful article, Alecia, well written as always, encouraging, and wise.
Alecia Baptiste says
Thank you Carolyn