We live in a time where we know more about the world we live in than we’ve ever known.  Scientists can study the inner workings of our body.  They have made amazing discoveries about the human brain, and how it works.  With these new discoveries, scientists have been able to validate many of the ancient observations about humanity.  They’ve also been able to debunct a few myths.  We actually can teach an old dog new tricks.  It just takes alot more effort and time!

Now what does this have to do with children?

In the age of technology where things can be fixed or replaced, we often try to apply the same principles to people that we apply to our devices. Because we have the capability of correcting problems, parents are turning to scientific advances in order to correct or “fix” their children.  I’ll be honest, I’ve fallen for this myself.   When my children exhibit undesirable behaviors, my focus is often on changing the behavior.  I search the internet, read books, attend the latest class, or ask some other mom.  My goal: fix the kid, and make my life easier.

Seventeen plus years parenting are teaching me that children aren’t meant to be fixed, but to be loved and accepted  just as the are.  Accepting them as they are gives us the right perspective as we help them to overcome their challenges.  It’s perfectly fine to help them, as long as we’re not trying to “fix” them.  There is a difference.

Fixing them  assumes that they are broken.

Fixing them  assumes that there is a clear cut solution, that can bring about the desired result.

Helping them  is a recognition that they have a challenge in which they cannot overcome alone.  Don’t we all?

Helping them  is providing the support, love and encouragement that they need.

Helping them  is using the latest technology wisely with the understanding that every human being is immensely complex.  There are no cookie cutter solutions.

Helping them  is being willing to patiently guide our children.  Change doesn’t happen over night.

Helping them  is being willing to change ourselves.

Helping them  is accepting them as the uniquely wonderful individual that they’ve been created to be.  Perhaps they can’t do certain things well or not at all.  Can we be ok with that?  On the other hand, perhaps they have some wonderful, unique ability that may be underappreciated by the world.

Let’s be among those who appreciate their unique, and rare gifts.

When a child knows that he or she is loved just has he is, it makes a world of difference.  It provides a perfect environment for children to live and grow.